Friday, March 21, 2008
Spring
Ahh!! Spring is here!! How appropriate when considering new beginnings. Brings to mind new life. New life after a cold, dormant winter. Healing comes to mind. In the physical sense, a scar represents a healing from an injury or surgery. What are the markers, and for that matter , scars from emotional injury? How are they measured? Are they always invisible? And what is the cure? Are scars left to remind us of the injury and pain, or the reminder of overcoming trauma? Are they worn proudly, humbly, shamefully, secretively? Are they measureable? By whose standard? What is the anecdote to emotional healing?
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Jacqueline,
Found you from Anna's blog about Narcissists...
Check out 'lovefraud' blog as well. It may be helpful...
Emmtional scars are usually invisible to the eye -- except in the shadows of grief/pain and vulnerability or mistrust that remain in our eyes...
Healing is so hard... It is layer upon layer of learning how to feel safe again, to believe in love again, to believe in hope, and in our own worth...
Every memory of being hurt/rerjected/lied to/abandoned/deceived has to be replaced by other memories. Every thought has to be replaced...
So if you thought about him for a year, it may take 2 years of thinking about someone or something else that brings you pleasure/is different before you've really been able to move on inside of yourself, and create a new life.
The ending of a relationship is a death of sorts... And can be just as traumatic. And take as long to understand/cope with/put into perspective and heal from...
A large part of healing is being able to let go of the bitterness and the anger and a desire for revenge. (or thoughts of self-destruction, which are the other side of the coin).
You really have to make it not about you, except to take your own share of responsibility, of co-operation in the dance that happenned, even unwittingly... That will free you and bring some empowerment with it.
Best wishes,
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